The Scoop
Stuff about Lothie, Sexually Speaking
Some of this stuff is in my User Guide as well.
Basics
Current Relationship Map
As of current edit, I've been with my husband, Chris, for six years, and my other primary partner, Jason, for two and a half years. Chris and I have formed a "quad" with Jason and his wife, Angela. We're still living apart at this point but hope to move in together sometime in 2009.
Aside from that there are people I'm involved with and/or play with on an irregular basis. I'm bi but a bit shy around women. I'm not really looking for new partners, but if you're interested, all the facts are here.
Safer Sex and STDs
I'm fluid-bonded within my quad, exclusively. This means that with anyone else I ask for full latex use. The exception would be vaginal penetration with fingers up to but not including four (either my fingers or yours). If you want to stick a thumb, finger, or toe up my ass in the heat of the moment, go ahead, but no more than that, and I will ask you to go and wash it off the minute we're done. No other exceptions, including oral sex.
I currently test for all STDs once a year and may increase that to twice now that I don't have such a ridiculous commute anymore (and can get to a doctor more easily). As of September 2007, I am "clean" but do show a past exposure to HSV 1 or 2 (this does not mean I have HSV; it means I have been exposed to it). I insist that any new/potential partners test at least once a year and have a current clean bill of health.
I do have a partner with HSV1, usually known as "oral herpes", who gave it to another partner genitally (but it's still HSV1, folks). Both persons are extremely careful around me because of my sensitivity to the Herpes family of viruses. However, if this is a limit for you, then be aware. (Do note that over 80% of the population already has HSV1 antibodies, and the percentage goes up with age; I myself have antibodies but not an infection.) I have another partner with (asymptomatic) HSV2 (as of this writing we're still negotiating sex). HSV2 is a very sticky subject for me, due to my sensitivity to herpes viruses, so I am being very, very careful.
Physical Issues
I've got CFIDS, which means I'm in a lot of pain all the time and often don't feel well. However, I make sex a priority because it helps me to feel better. My back is messed up, so please be careful of it. Other than that, just be aware that I sometimes don't get (or stay) as wet as I used to, since I'm now in my 40's.
Erogenous Zones
I have very sensitive ears, neck, nipples, genitals, and ass. This is probably pretty typical. Frankly, there isn't a part of me that isn't pretty sensitive, so have fun. ;)
What I Will and Won't Do
Boundaries
I like to be very clear about communicating what is and isn't okay, and I expect the same from my partners. If you want me to "figure it out" from your body language, I am probably not the right partner for you. If you want your boundaries pushed, we can negotiate that. If I want mine pushed, we can negotiate that too. The bottom line is that I take responsibility for myself and I expect you to do the same.
Stuff I Like - Vanilla-ish
- Kissing: I like to kiss. I'll kiss, in fact, for hours, and never expect anything else (I might want more, but I won't expect it). If you want to have a hot kissing date, I'm your girl.
- Fellatio: I'm working on my gag reflex and I'll be happy to practice on you. I tend to be a quiet fellatrix, and not extremely goal-oriented. I worry a lot about my teeth but I haven't had any complaints yet.
- Cunnilingus: I don't know how good I am at giving head to girls, but I'd like to do more of it.
- Vaginal Sex: I like it, a lot. I actually really like the missionary position, but I'm game for just about any position we can bend into. Slow, fast, whatever. I like to hang around long enough so that we could do it again if we both wanted.
- Anal Sex: My favorite time to have anal sex is right after I've come out of a bath or shower and feel perfectly clean. I'm tremendously fastidious and so the concept of anal sex upsets me if I don't feel 100% pure as the driven snow. I also have tremendously sensitive skin and am very slightly allergic to most commercial lubes, so I don't often feel up to anal. That said, once I'm past all that I enjoy it tremendously. You do have to be careful and slow about entering but once you're all the way in I may beg you to fuck me so hard it hurts. Mm. Size is not an object (though obviously larger penises or strapons need to be inserted more slowly).
- Analingus: As I've mentioned, I'm tremendously fastidious, and the idea of analingus is not a turnon for me (either giving or receiving). That said, I'll consider it.
- Group Sex: Sure, but I'd like to know everybody involved and know they are "clean" (and of course, latex will be used regardless).
Stuff I like - Not So Vanilla-ish
- Spanking: I like to be spanked, and I have a great butt for spanking. Please don't spank high up because I have a bad back. Low is better. If you're not going to drop me into subspace then let's keep it sensuous instead of going for the pain. I'll be happy to reciprocate.
- Biting: I love to give and receive bites. No breaking the skin (fluid issues) and please be somewhat discreet, as I do work with customers.
- Bondage: I like to be restrained. As far as topping goes, I'm lazy, so I don't like tying someone up or cuffing them all that much (though I'll do it). Given that, I'm very "forgiving" if my top doesn't want to restrain me either. I will be very happy to consider myself restrained just by words, and likewise, if I tell someone to lie or stand still, I expect to be obeyed.
- Pain: I'm a heavy masochist, particularly when I'm dropped into sub headspace, and I am not absolutely sure where my limits are. As far as topping, I like to cause pain as much as I like to receive it.
- Mindfucks: Oh yes please. I'm into all sorts of nasty stuff. I enjoy perpetrating them as well.
- Fisting: I'm not easy to fist but it can be done and I'm willing to try. I'm also willing to try it on you. I've never done anal fisting (pitcher or catcher) so I would want to work with someone experienced for either of those.
- D/s: I've got a lot of experience as a very heavy sub. I do have
a Dom, but he doesn't mind if I play with other Dom(me)s, and you do not need to ask
his permission for me to do so. Let me repeat that, because a lot of people don't get
it: You do not need to ask my Dom's permission to play with me. You negotiate
with me. If this fact upsets you, then we don't have to play.
I also have experience as a very heavy Domme. I currently have one girl; I'm not looking to form a "stable" but I'm open to the right person.
My usual safeword when someone is new to me is the "red/yellow" system. Once I've worked with someone a bit, we can pick a more "customized" safeword. If I'm domming or subbing, I prefer to work without safewords once we're used to each other.
- Fetish Play: Not really my thing. I particularly don't like the "adult baby" concept. Sorry.
- Scat/Pee/Vomit: I just won't do scat or vomit. Not so much into the pee either, but under certain circumstances I'd do it. Those circumstances are extremely unlikely to come up.
- Breath Control: This is actually a huge turnon but there is maybe one person I trust enough to do this.
Stuff I Don't Like
The Toy Chest
A decade or so ago, I had a really nice toy collection, mostly gifts. I left the scene at my second husband's insistence, and gave away all my toys when I did so. Currently I don't have much of a collection. But let me tell you what I like:
- Dildoes, Strapons, and Butt Plugs: Yes please. I can take a medium butt plug, and a fairly large dildo. I'll be happy to use such toys on you as well. I do have some experience anally fucking with a strapon.
- Floggers: I like to be flogged, and I like either sting or thud. I also enjoy flogging, light or heavy.
- Singletail: Please know what you're doing with a whip if you are going to
use a singletail on me. (I will want references.) If you do, then great, but otherwise,
I don't want to go there. Singletails look and sound great, but they can cause unplanned
damage if you don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what I'm doing with a singletail, so I won't use one on you.
- Canes/Crops: Yes. If you're going to hurt me a lot I prefer to be
dropped, but I will eventually drop myself.
I absolutely love to use a cane, crop, or carriage whip, and I'll get very vicious with it if you let me...and you want to let me. ;)
- Bludgeoning Devices: Yes. Again, if you're going to hurt me, I'd like you to drop me, but I can get to that headspace by myself. I'm not as fond of the heavy devices to use on others as I am of canes etc., but I'll be happy to hit you with one for a while.
- Gags: In general, I don't like gags, but I will wear one under some circumstances. Obviously, if I am doing so, we need to work out some other form of safe-signalling. In general I will not put a gag on someone I'm topping because I really like vocal feedback.
- Restraints: As mentioned above, I like being restrained; as also mentioned above, I'm lazy about using restraints. As a sub, I can be restrained with a word (I may not hold perfectly still, but I will not try to get away), and I expect the same of my subs (permanent and temporary).
Last modified: 6/19/2008 1:17:38 AM